Funny Lyrics - what were they thinking?

Over the years I've heard many funny songs; some of the funniest lyrics have actually come from songs that were intended to be serious. Many other songs intentionally have funny lyrics and often are parodies of more famous songs. The main thing is that these songs are funny for a variety of reasons and most of them make me smile!

I'm not sure why songs that contain lyrics that are funny appeal to me; perhaps it's the plain silliness or the fact that often the artists have no clue exactly how funny their songs are! Here are some funny songs that I recall, feel free to leave me a comment with other suggestions to add to the list; please note that I will not include obscene lyrics on this page, so please refrain from adding them in the comments sections!

Hiphopopotamus Vs. Rhymenoceros lyrics by Flight Of The Conchords

While some may find the lyrics to this song a little obscene at times, it just seems to be so badly written that it's funny. It's almost as if the writer added words simply yo get the rhythm right rather than realizing how strange and funny the lyrics are. This comes into the realm of funny lyrics that weren't meant to be funny:

If you choose to proceed you will indeed concede

Cos I hit you with my flow

The Wild Rhino Stampede.

I'm not just wild, 

I'm trained, domesticated

I was raised by a rapper and rhino that dated

And subsequently procreated 



I can't Play Basketball Lyrics by Jimmy Fallon

Well as this is a Jimmy Fallon song then you know it simply has to have the funniest lyrics possible! This appeals to me because I had about as much talent at basketball as Mike Tyson has at singing (did you see the movie Hangover?). I just recall always being the last to be picked when we occasionally played basketball:

Jimmy, What you say? 

You can't play 

Basketball

Jimmy, what you say? (I double-dribble, traveled through the middle)

You can't play 

Basketball (Oh, my bad - you're not on my team?)



Amish Paradise lyrics by Weird Al Yankovic

Weird Al Yankovic is one of the first singers who I remember performing parodies of popular songs. There are many of his songs with silly lyrics in them, but for some reason Amish Paradise is the one that appeals to me. Firstly I loved the intensity of the song 'Gangsta's Paradise' so I thoroughly enjoyed the parody. Secondly, as I've been to Pennsylvania and seen the Amish quite often it is also additionally funny:

I'm a man of the land, I'm into discipline

Got a bible in my hand and a beard on my chin

But if I finish all of my chores, and you finish thine

Then tonight we're going to party like it's 1699



Big Balls by AC/DC

This is one of the best tongue-in-cheek songs of all time. Bon Scott's voice was very 'cheeky' and the whole song is so full of double meanings that it really becomes very funny – as funny lyrics go, this is certainly one of the best songs out there. AC/DC are a great rock band and quite a few of their songs are tongue-in-cheek:

I'm ever upper class high society

God's gift to ballroom notoriety

I always fill my ballroom

The event is never small

The social pages say I've got

The biggest balls of all



CHORUS:

I've got big balls

I've got big balls

And they're such big balls

Dirty big balls

And he's got big balls

And she's got big balls

But we've got the biggest balls of them all



Song for Whoever lyrics by Beautiful South

There are a few 80s British bands that I simply love. Beautiful South were a band from Hull who produced many excellent love songs, ballads and other pop songs. Occasionally they came out with a song that while not meant to be funny, the song had some funny lyrics in it. This song is actually an intriguing love song, but as you listen you do find yourself smiling:

I love you from the bottom, of my pencil case 

I love you in the songs, I write and sing 

Love you because, you put me in my rightful place 

And I love the PRS cheques, that you bring



Cheap, never cheap 

I'll sing you songs till you're asleep 

When you've gone upstairs I'll creep 

And write it all down 

Oh Shirley, Oh Deborah, Oh Julie, Oh Jane 

I wrote so many songs about you 

I forget your name (I forget your name) 

Jennifer, Alison, Phillipa, Sue, Deborah, Annabel, too 

Jennifer, Alison, Phillipa, Sue, Deborah, Annabel, too 

I forget your name



My Ding a Ling lyrics by Chuck Berry

I remember this song as a child and it was one of the cutest songs I knew – I was always singing it. As I grew older I began to wonder whether the lyrics were intentionally meant to have a double-meaning? Perhaps it's just me and my dirty mind:

When I was a little biddy boy

My grandma bought me a cute little toy

Two Silver bells on a string

She told me it was my ding-a-ling-a-ling

My Ding-A-Ling My Ding-A-Ling won't you play with My Ding-A-Ling

My Ding-A-Ling My Ding-A-Ling won't you play with My Ding-A-Ling



Tom Sawyer lyrics by South Park

I am an absolutely huge Rush fan so when I attended a recent Snakes and Arrows concert of theirs I was hugely surprised when the Southpark cast appeared and began to sing Tom Sawyer – of course Cartman messed up the lyrics and thus the song became funny! It was one of the best introductions to a concert I have seen:

Cartman: Modern day warrior, his name's Tom Sawyer! He floated down river on a raft with a black guy!

Kyle: Hold on, hold on, HOLD ON! Those aren't the right lyrics, fat@^%!

Cartman: Tom Sawyer built a raft and floated down river with a black guy, I read the book.

Kyle: That's not Tom Sawyer, that's Huckleberry Finn, stupid.

Cartman: I am Geddy Lee... and I will sing whatever lyrics I want!!



Jingle Bombs lyrics by Jeff Dunham

For some reason I've been negligent and only just discovered Jeff Dunham! He's an amazingly talented ventriloquist artist and produces some very funny songs. What intrigues me most is that while the lyrics are funny, there is always a serious undertone in the song:

Dashing through the sand

With a bomb strapped to my back

I have a Nasty plan

For Christmas in Iraq

I got through checkpoint A

But not through checkpoint B

That's when I got shot in the ass by the US Military



Happy Birthday lyrics

This is just a bit of nostalgia; as a child I went to a lot of birthday parties – as we grew older and 'thought' we were funnier, we began to use Happy Birthday songs with funny lyrics in them – here are my two favorites:

Happy Birthday to you,

Squashed tomatoes and stew,

bread and butter in the gutter,

Happy Birthday to you.



Happy Birthday to you, 

you live in a zoo,

you look like a camel

and you smell like one too!!!



I Wanna be your Underwear lyrics by Bryan Adams

When I was courting my wife (she was in the US and I in the UK) we found an album that had so many good songs on it that it became 'our' album. 18 til I die had some amazing love songs on it, but our favorite was the 'risque' song 'I wanna be your underwear' – the tongue in cheek lyrics are very funny:

I wanna be - your hot tub - when you're dippin'

I wanna be - your bathrobe - when you're drippin'

I wanna be - your cocktail baby - when you're sippin'

I just wanna be right there - more than anything I swear

I wanna be - your underwear



I've got a Brand New Combine Harvester lyrics by Wurzels

If you haven't heard of the Wurzles then you need to go to Youtube right now. They were a weird fun pop group that were very popular in the 80s in England. They just had fun songs with fun lyrics and were a nice breath of fresh air:

Cuz i got a brand new combine harvester

An ill give you the key

Come on now lets get together in perfect harmony

I got twenty acres

An' you got forty three

Now i got a brand new combine harvester

An' ill give you the key.



Around The World lyrics by Daft Punk

I can proudly say that I really don't know this song that much, but any song that repeats the same sentence dozens of time merits a place on an article about funny lyrics!

Around the World (repeated lots of times!)

I Need Love lyrics by LL Cool J

This song simply doesn't make sense – again it seems to have been written by someone concentrating more on the rhythm of the words than the words themselves! I simply didn't know that 10 feet tall men had so much love to give:

I love you more than a man who's 10 feet tall 

I'd watch the sunrise in your eyes 

we're so in love when we hug we become paralyzed 



They're Coming To Take Me Away lyrics by Napoleon XIV

There's just something so insane and wacky about this song! It reminds me of a combination of Ken Dodd and some of the stranger Pink Floyd songs! I find myself singing it quite often for some reason:

Remember when you ran away and I got on my knees and begged you not to

leave because I'd go berserk?? Well...

You left me anyhow and then the days got worse and worse and now you see

I've gone completely out of my mind.. And.. 

They're coming to take me away, ha-haaa!!

They're coming to take me away, ho-ho, hee-hee, ha-haaa



Poisoning Pigeons in the Park lyrics by Tom Lehrer

Some songs have funny lyrics that are probably just as offensive to some people as they are funny to me. For some reason, the idea of a couple feeding the pigeons poison in the park appeals to me:

All the world seems in tune

On a spring afternoon,

When we're poisoning pigeons in the park.

Ev'ry Sunday you'll see

My sweetheart and me,

As we poison the pigeons in the park.



It's Christmas Time in Texas lyrics by Vince Vance

I couldn't go through a whole hub focusing on the funniest lyrics in music without bringing up at least one country music song – I could probably have filled the whole article up if I had focused on this genre of music. This song just seems to tickle my funny bone:

It's Christmas time in Texas, it's Santa's rodeo.

We'd hang our boots for stockings, but our feet would get too cold.

So, we gather round the campfire and thank God for all our blessings.

Yippey ki yi yea, get along little dogies, it's Christmas time in Texas.